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You are certainly not alone. Every day I question my own ability. I find myself taking photos with competitions in mind. I know judging is subjective, yet I am bummed when I don’t do well. I come up with ideas about my photos and then discard them because I’m afraid they won’t do well. I’m starting to understand why people choose not to compete, and yet club competitions are the main way I share my work, so I hate the thought of giving it up.
I listened to the first video by The Photographic Eye and it brought up a lot of important ideas. I’m not trying to make a living at photography, but I know that feeling of Imposter syndrome. At least making a living to support one’s family is a respectable reason to do something, rat race though it may be. But putting a lot of effort into photography and then feeling bad about it, or not good enough, or maybe it’s not enough effort, or maybe I’m just not creative or talented, or maybe I just need to focus more and find my niche, but maybe I don’t have a niche because I’m just a scattered person or maybe a thousand other things. Maybe I should just give up photography altogether. Except I like it and I like the way I see the world differently since taking up photography.
I am nowhere near figuring all this out, but it helps to know that you, a photographer I very much admire, also feel some of these things.